Where Secrets Lie
by sweetsheart
Summary: AU. The military keeps secrets – that, in itself, is not a secret. One secret sends shockwaves through Central and beyond, and will shake the foundations of everything some believed in.


**A/N: So I decided to be an angst whore, sue me. This is set in Brotherhood with one detail from the first anime – Sheska is close to the Hughes family.**

* * *

_It is May in Amestris; the year is 1914. The military is reeling from the loss of Maes Hughes, a member of their intelligence division, at the hands of a homunculus. The search for these homunculi begins off the information garnered and provided posthumously by Brigadier General Hughes, led unofficially by Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang and a choice team of his most trusted subordinates._

* * *

"You don't need to be here."

"Of course I need to be here." Roy snapped back at Riza, and she sighed, rubbing at her temples.

"Don't pull this with me." she remarked, and he slammed his fists down on the desk and shot up, glaring furiously at the blonde lieutenant.

"_Never _speak to me like that! I am your _superior, _just… _don't ever._" he exhaled shakily with his last words and his hand quivered as it pressed against the desk to stabilise himself. Riza's eyes widened almost imperceptibly and she took a step back.

"I'll leave you to it, _sir._" the derision in her voice wouldn't be evident to anyone but Roy, and he sighed. She turned on the spot and he glanced at her.

"God, no, please, I-"

"I have to go." Riza swiftly exited the room and Roy scrunched his fist, collapsing back in his chair. As he did, however, the telephone rang. He glanced up and looked at it, reaching out.

"Yes?" he asked, half-heartedly.

"_Colonel Mustang, you have a call from Central Morgue regarding Brigadier General Hughes' body." _the secretary said. Roy's eyes widened and he held his nerve.

"Put them through." he said, and as the morgue was put on hold, he dropped his head. He couldn't hold this guise for much longer.

It rained again.

* * *

"Good evening, Roy. Sit down." Gracia smiled, barely putting up the guise over her crippling grief, and Roy nodded, entering the apartment. Elicia was on the floor, crayons strewn around her and her colouring book wide open.

"I'm sorry, this can only be a brief visit." Roy walked into the living room and sat down. He would have to leave for his meeting at the morgue soon. Gracia smiled, shaking her head.

"It's okay, Roy. Half of your team have already been in here. Your aim, I gather?" she asked. Roy sighed and Gracia sat down across from him, and his eyes were swimming with reigned-in sympathy.

"I've no idea what you're talking about." he remarked. Gracia nodded and glanced over at Elicia sitting on the floor.

"Are you going to say hello?" she asked, but Elicia shook her head furiously and focused intensely on her colouring.

"She's not coping too well." Gracia wrung her hands and Roy swallowed dryly.

"I'm sorry." he said, quietly.

"You've apologised twice since you got here." Gracia gave a small smile, and Roy shook his head.

"I… I'm sorry." he looked up at her, and she reached out and placed her hands over his.

"You lost your best friend too, Roy."

"Don't be ridiculous – _I'm_ being ridiculous, I'm sorry, I'll-"

"You don't have to be so careful, Roy. No, I'm not in a good state now. But your words aren't going to make it worse." she said, her smile obviously faked.

"I… I know," Roy flicked open his watch and glanced at Gracia, "I have to go. I have a meeting with someone important." he stood up, and Gracia nodded.

"Anyone I know?" she asked. Roy shook his head and closed his eyes.

"You're most definitely unfamiliar." Roy said, his voice tight and overly sure.

"Well, be sure to keep in touch. Not that you wouldn't." she stood up with him and half-ushered him to the door, and he gave her a small nod as he exited. Gracia looked over at Elicia, who stared up at her with guilty green eyes.

"Why didn't you say hello?" she asked, gently, walking over to Elicia and kneeling down, stroking her cheek gently. She opened her mouth, but nothing was coming out.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Slow down and tell Mama." she whispered softly, and Elicia finally spoke in a tiny, squeaky voice.

"I wanted to say hello," she said, taking a large breath, "but my words not work 'cause I'm so sad!" Tears poured from Elicia's eyes and ran down her cheeks, and Gracia's eyes widened. She wrapped her arms around Elicia tightly and held her close.

"It's okay, my darling. It's okay." Gracia murmured into Elicia's hair, and she felt the little girl tremble.

"I want Daddy back, Mama." she mumbled.

"I know, honey," Gracia whispered, trying desperately not to cry, "I want Daddy back too."

Grief was not something three-year-olds were made to comprehend.

* * *

Walking down the corridors of the facility, Roy Mustang felt many things. He was nervous, he felt guilty and sick to his stomach.

The building was virtually desolate, with only a few medical personnel present. This was where Central hid their dirty laundry when it came to covert matters, and Roy made it his purpose in life to never attend.

He was here. He hadn't succeeded.

He had a piece of paper clenched in his hand and his eyes flicked around for his destination. He was the only person in Central that knew what he was doing, and for good reason.

When it came to military secrets, at this time, this was undoubtedly the most pressing; one that needed to stay absolutely undercover – or rather, under the guise of a decrepit building on the outskirts of Amestris.

Many of the personnel patrolling the halls recognised him, and even those who didn't knew that someone was coming from Central for most pressing matters in the morgue.

Roy was not a person who liked death, especially matters pertaining to the death of his best friend. But, these things needed to be dealt with.

After a few more minutes of searching, Roy found his destination.

_Morgue – Authorised Persons Only!_

Roy inhaled deeply and pulled out his watch once more, knowing that this must be timed to the second. At quarter to three, he would open the door and deal with matters.

Twenty seconds.

Roy was never this nervous about anything. _Ever. _It simply didn't happen to him – he was _known _for it. But, standing outside the door struck a chord, especially because he knew what was inside.

His dead best friend.

As Roy snapped out of his thoughts, the time came. He pushed the door open and the overwhelming clinical coldness his him. He glanced around the room and shut the door behind him, and in the back corner, his eyes fixed on a man sitting in the corner.

He looked pale and unwell and his eyes were dark and weary. He was attached to an IV drip on a stand, and he seemed to be in pain with every breath he took. Upon further inspection, his torso was heavily bandaged. He looked up at Roy through his spectacles, the dark strand of hair hanging in front of his forehead dropping into the line of sight as he tilted his head down.

"Maes."

His dead best friend was less dead than one may have thought.

* * *

"_Mama! Mama!" _

The little girl's cries woke Gracia, and she jumped out of bed with a start, racing down the corridor to her daughter's bead. Rounding the corner, her eyes flicked to Elicia, who had tears streaming down her face and shivers wracking her entire body.

"Sweetheart…" Gracia rushed to Elicia's side, sitting on the edge of her bed and smoothing her hair back from her face. Gently shushing the girl, she heard her murmur words through her tears.

"_I want my papa._"

With those words, Gracia felt tears welling up in her own eyes.

"I know, honey. I know." Gracia said, gently, and Elicia curled up in Gracia's embrace.

"Mama, stay with me." she grasped Gracia's nightgown and scrunched it in her fist, and Gracia nodded gently.

"Come on, honey." Gracia pulled back the quilt and put Elicia back into bed, sliding herself in afterwards and pulling the quilt over the both of them. She closed her eyes and gently murmured a lullaby to Elicia until she fell asleep.

Not a night had gone by since her husband died that Gracia hadn't cried herself to sleep.

That night was no exception.

* * *

"Maes." Roy Mustang did not take his eyes off the man for a second.

"Roy." Maes Hughes, who was very much alive, replied.

"You look like shit."

"You try getting shot in the chest and being left to bleed out. Let me know how you feel." Maes remarked, and Roy shook his head.

"It's remarkable you lived. It's good to see you." Roy said. Maes shrugged but winced after he did.

"Missed my heart by some miracle. And it's good to see you too." he replied. Roy sat across from him, and Maes glanced up.

"I want Gracia and Elicia to know I'm alive." he said, sharply.

"They can't. Nobody but me and the workers here can, Maes, you _know _that." Roy said. Mae grit his teeth and dropped his head, removing his glasses to rub at his eyes.

"How are they?" he managed.

"They're not good, Maes." Roy replied. Maes stared up at him and he knitted his eyebrows together.

"Roy, you have to tell them I'm _alive!_" he cried, but as he did, he took a sharp breath in and coughed violently.

"Maes, stop! They can't know. If anyone knows, we risk the homunculi finding out. You being dead is the best thing for all parties concerned. They think they have that hold over us – and more specifically, me." Roy said, and Maes sighed. He knew that.

"They need to think that they killed you. And everyone else needs you as their driving force – nobody else is you, Maes." Roy stated.

"As much as this existential ego-boost is wonderful, my wife and daughter have the right to know that I'm not dead." Maes crossed his arms and Roy frowned.

"They don't have the right to compromise national security." he replied. Maes shook his head and scratched his chin, sitting back.

"They have the right to compromise the world, Roy. You'd know that if you got yourself a family." Maes replied. Roy sighed and glanced at his best friend.

"I'm sorry, Maes. But they can't know." Roy said, regretfully. Maes looked at Roy, a stern look adorning his face.

"Is everyone looking after them?" Maes asked, and Roy nodded swiftly.

"I've visited a few times, but Elicia won't talk to anyone." Roy glanced away as he saw tears welling in Maes' eyes. The men had been through so much in their years knowing one another, but Roy would never get used to Maes crying.

"It's not right. They shouldn't think I'm dead." he murmured, and Roy glanced at him.

"They'll be the first to know when the homunculi are defeated."

"_And how long will that be?!_"

Maes pushed himself up using the drip stand, and he was more angry than Roy had ever seen – but he also saw all of his limbs quivering.

"That could take _years, _Roy, _years!_ It's absolutely ridiculous! I've always said I never wanted to die for my country, and this is _why!_"

With the last syllable, Maes' knees buckled and he collapsed. Roy's eyes widened and he leapt from his seat, dropping to his knees beside Maes. Maes glanced at Roy, his breathing slow and deep.

"That's good – pity. I love pity." Maes remarked. Roy braced his arm around Maes' back and glanced sideways at him.

"You're going to make yourself worse, Maes." he murmured, and he pulled the other man up to grasp his drip stand once more. He took a sharp breath in, but his knees buckled again and he shook his head wildly.

"I can't stand up." Maes managed, and Roy glanced sideways and helped Maes to sit on the floor and regain his breath as he went to the door. Opening it, he called out to the first nurse that walked past. She turned and walked into the room, and upon seeing Maes on the floor, rushed to the patient's side.

"Are you just out of breath or are you in pain?" the nurse asked, and Maes looked up at her.

"I'm fine." Maes remarked.

"Is that why you're on the floor?" she asked, and Maes sighed.

"Out of breath. I feel like I've been hit in the chest." Maes relented, and the nurse nodded.

"Sir, if you'd be so kind to get me the wheelchair from the corridor?" The nurse asked, and Roy nodded and turned around again, leaving the room the grasp the handles of the wheelchair just outside the door. He wheeled the chair back into the room and behind Maes and the nurse, and Maes only just managed to push himself into it.

"I told you not to stand. Sitting or bedrest, wasn't it, Maes?" the nurse raised an eyebrow, and it was only then that Roy realised that the nurse walking past must have coincidentally been the one assigned to Maes.

"I know." he said, almost regretfully, and the nurse clicked her tongue and glanced at Roy.

"His room's only a few doors down." she said, and Roy nodded and followed them around a corner and into a small, single room where the nurse wheeled Maes back alongside the bed.

"Into bed." she insisted, and Maes pushed himself out of the chair to the low bed, watching as the nurse walked around and unravelled some tubing from an oxygen canister, wrapping it around the front of Maes' head and making sure the two protrusions were in his nose. He winched and scrunched up his face at the initial rush of oxygen, but eventually relaxed and became accustomed to it.

"Stay in bed. I'm not prying you off the floor again, Maes." the nurse quipped as she left the room, and Maes smirked and sighed, Roy sitting down in the chair beside his bed.

"Is she your regular nurse?" Roy asked, and Maes nodded.

"Margaret. She's the nurse who knows everything about the goings on at Central." Maes replied, and Roy nodded and sighed, clasping his hands.

"I'm sorry I went at you before." Maes relented, and Roy shook his head.

"It's fine. I know you're upset. I don't _want_ to keep you from your family, Maes." Roy replied, and Maes glanced downwards.

"I wouldn't get so animated, but…" Maes did not complete his sentence, and Roy's eyes flicked to his best friend.

"But what, Maes?" he asked. Maes looked directly at Roy and sighed, shaking his head.

"It's our anniversary tomorrow." he managed, and Roy's eyes widened nearly imperceptibly and he dipped his head.

"Shit, Maes, I…" Roy tailed off, but Maes batted away his words with his hand.

"Don't worry. There's nothing we can do." Maes replied, and Roy glanced up.

"Should I visit Gracia tomorrow, or…?" Roy looked to Maes for guidance, and the bespectacled man shook his head.

"No. It'll be hard enough for her without having to put up a guise for guests." Maes explaimed, and Roy dropped his head.

"How many years now?" Roy asked.

"Five." Maes smiled, and memories of his wife flooded his mind. He and Roy had returned from Ishval in late 1908, and Maes had proposed to Gracia on New Years, leading them to marry in mid-1909.

"Five. I can't believe it's been that long." Roy remarked.

"Time flies." Maes shook his head, and his eyes flicked to the silver band on his left hand.

"I suppose this renders all of my pestering you to get a wife and have a family moot, doesn't it? Watching me fall apart at the notion of not being with them." Maes mentioned, and Roy shook his head.

"More convinced than ever, actually." Roy said, and Maes' eyes flicked to him.

"You're the driving force behind our team. Gracia and Elicia are your driving force. They keep you together and you keep us together. It's an amazing power." Roy remarked, and Maes smiled.

"Go on and get yourself a wife, then." he piped up and Roy sighed and stood up.

"Don't push it, Maes." he replied. Maes smiled and shook his head, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose and dropping his hands with a sigh.

"Alright. I have to go, but I'll keep in touch." Roy said, and Maes nodded gently, shifting himself in the bed in order to recline backwards.

"It was good to see you, Roy." Maes added. Roy turned around and managed a small smile.

"It's just good you're alive, Maes." he replied before exiting the room. Maes sighed and he turned slightly, opening the drawer in the table beside the hospital bed. He pulled out the bloodstained photograph of himself, his wife and his daughter and held it tightly as his eyes flicked over it.

"I said I'd be home soon," he murmured, "and I will."

* * *

_It is December in Amestris; the year is 1914. Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang and his subordinates are post-defection from the military and are back in Central, all bar Jean Havoc, having been incapacitated by the homunculus Lust. The homunculus concern has been largely resolved, and it had been seven months since the death of Brigadier General Maes Hughes._

* * *

"Elicia. You know everyone, don't you?" Roy asked the small girl who was holding onto her mother tightly, her green eyes darting momentarily to the four people in front of her – Riza Hawkeye, Kain Fuery, Heymans Breda and Vato Falman.

"Mmhm." she mumbled, and Roy sighed.

She used to be so outgoing – like her father – but she still hadn't recovered. Order had been restored to Amestris, for now, anyway, and it had been months since her father had died.

"Can you remember their names?" Gracia asked, and Elicia shook her head against Gracia's neck. Gracia placed her down on the ground gently and kissed her on the forehead.

"Mama will be back soon, okay?" Gracia asked, and Elicia nodded, on the brink of tears. Gracia stepped back and Elicia fretted, and she very nearly picked the girl back up.

"I'll be back soon, sweetheart." Gracia was fully aware that was the promise her father had made before he died, but there were no other words to use.

"Everyone take care of me?" she asked, and Gracia nodded.

"Be good, darling." she said. Roy looked at Riza and walked over to her.

"Come with me." Roy said, and Riza gave only a nod – everyone in the room had been briefed about the true situation with Hughes after the homunculus problem had been cleared up.

"Thank you." he managed, and Riza nodded and walked out of the room with Gracia, who blew a kiss to her daughter before leaving. Elicia turned to the remaining three people and they all looked rather bewildered. She blinked and they did the same in turn, before finally, the youngest of the men stepped forward and knelt down.

"Do you remember me, Elicia?" Kain asked, and Elicia's eyes flicked over his face.

"… Kain." she mumbled, and he smiled.

"Yeah. How about you come with me and I show you some of the stuff I do?" he asked, and he extended a hand. Elicia's eyes flicked over him again, and she placed her tiny hand in his, if only for the fact that his dark hair and glasses were vaguely reminiscent of her father.

"Alright." he smiled further and stood up, grasping her tiny hand as he walked her over to his workstation.

All three of the men in the room knew the shock and hurt that was surely in store for the three year old and her mother. Only one of them could hide it on their face, however, as Breda and Falman left Kain and Elicia to their own devices.

* * *

"Gracia. We've got some rather startling news about Maes." Roy clasped his hands, and Gracia's eyes seemed to fill with tears at the mere mention of her late husband, and she nodded.

"What is it?" she managed, and Roy bit the inside of his lip and glanced down. He wasn't sure how on Earth to do this.

"… The military keeps secrets, Gracia. A-And Maes was-" Roy stumbled over his words, and Riza walked beside him, looking at Gracia directly.

"Mrs Hughes… Maes is alive."

The room was silent.

"… Is this some sort of joke?" she managed, tears falling from her eyes.

"No, Gracia, he… he's alive." Roy stated, and Gracia's eyes filled with an emotion hard to define – not sadness or relief, not even shock, no.

Anger.

"What do you _mean_ he's _alive?_" she hissed, and Roy's eyes widened.

"When he was attacked, it gave us an invaluable opportunity to –" Roy was cut off by Gracia pushing herself from the chair.

"An invaluable opportunity?! You convinced me that my _husband, _the _father of my daughter_ was dead!" Gracia exclaimed, and Roy stood up as Gracia had moments before.

"The homunculi posed such a threat to Amestris that to let that opportunity slip would have been reckless." Roy replied, and Gracia brandished a finger in Roy's face.

"You have never had to tell your own daughter that her father was _dead. _Never coming back, ever, not a chance, no way, no how, _dead._ Do you understand how difficult that was? Having to come to terms with the fact that we'd lost him and now you're telling me he's _alive_?" she cried out loudly.

"Gracia, it was never meant to hurt you." Roy pleaded, and the woman shook her head vehemently.

"Don't try and explain this away. He probably isn't alive, it's part of some elaborate coup that will allow you to become Fuhrer, like the ones you used to pull Maes into." she snapped, and the clicking of a door at her side made her turn her head.

There stood her husband. A still sickly looking, languid version of her husband, but her husband nonetheless.

She wasn't sure whether she was going to pass out, throw up or scream. Perhaps all three.

"Gracia…" his voice was quiet and gravelly, and all of Gracia's emotions went into overdrive, leaving only primal instincts to power her body. Tears ran down her face as she tore out of the room, racing down the corridor.

"Gracia!" Roy exclaimed.

"I want my daughter!" she sobbed, and Roy came racing out after her, followed by Riza and then Maes.

"Gracia, please!" he called, and Roy's head whipped around.

"You can't run, Maes!" he cried, and Maes disobeyed completely, speeding up in time to see Gracia holding Elicia tightly and leaving a bewildered Kain in her wake.

"Gracia! Elicia!" he called out, wheezing and trying to catch his breath, and Elicia's head popped up and her eyes widened, and she took the biggest intake of breath anyone had ever seen.

"_Papa! Mama, it's Papa! Papa's back! Papa!" _Elicia fidgeted so furiously that Gracia dropped her from her arms, and the little girl went racing towards her father and slammed into his legs, wrapping her arms around them and beginning to cry.

"Papa, Mama told me you were never coming back and I missed you but you're back and I knew you were gonna come back and I…" Elicia's words turned to virtually incoherent sobs, and Maes leant down to pick the girl up. His eyes flicked forward to see his furious wife.

"I want my daughter back." she hissed, her breath coming in hitching gasps and tears still rolling down her face.

"She's ours." he replied, and she stepped back.

"You're dead. We… we went to your funeral, you have a headstone, you're… you're dead."

Everything suddenly became far too much for Gracia, and she collapsed. Maes put Elicia down and raced to Gracia's side, dropping to his knees beside her.

* * *

"_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything."_

"_I did everything I could to try and see you again. I never wanted to hide this from you. I hated it."_

"_I'm so sorry…" _

Maes had not left his wife's side since she had passed out six hours ago. She had woken up about twenty minutes later but had been rather disoriented, and she had fallen asleep soon after being moved to the hospital bad. Maes had said that Elicia should stay with Sheska for the night, despite his daughter's protests. His right hand was clasped around her left, and every so often his thumb would brush over the silver of her wedding band.

With a small intake of breath akin to a snort, Gracia's eyes opened abruptly.

"Maes."

It was all she said, and she had become so used to turning over and seeing an empty bed that when she saw Maes she scared herself.

"Gracia, please don't yell at me." he stated before she opened her mouth, and as he did, tears welled in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, about everything." he murmured gently, and Gracia shook her head.

"The scene I made… You're alive. I just…" Gracia shook her head, and Maes pressed his hand to her face.

"People aren't supposed to come back after they've died. It's my fault." Maes said.

"No, it's my fault. I was ridiculous out there. I was just so shocked and scared…" she mumbled, and Maes gave a laugh to hide the fact that he too felt tears forming in his eyes.

"Can we just agree that it's Roy's fault?" Maes asked, and Gracia rubbed at her eyes.

"I was awful to him. And Riza." she mumbled, and Maes brushed his thumb across her cheek.

"They'll forgive you." he managed, and Gracia eased herself up in the bed, causing Maes to raise an eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and Gracia lurched forward, wrapping her arms around Maes and sobbing quietly into his neck and yet hiding none of her emotion.

"I lost you, Maes. You might be alive but I lost you." she cried, and Maes wrapped her arms around his wife and pressed a kiss to her temple, placing his chin on her head and letting her sobs continue. He only took one hand away from around Gracia to remove his glasses and rub his own eyes, and he let Gracia settle against his chest as her breathing slowed.

"I love you." he murmured.

"I love you too." she replied, tearily, and a small smile encroached on Maes' face.

* * *

_It is January 1__st__ in Amestris; the year is now 1915. Imported Xingese fireworks explode in the Amestrian sky, and where some go out for a night of fun and frivolity, a small family sits at the window of their apartment. _

_Maes Hughes props his barely awake daughter Elicia up on his knee so she can see the fireworks display, and Gracia Hughes supports her daughter's back as she too watches the fireworks._

_Promptly, Elicia says she is very tired and falls asleep on her father's shoulder. He holds her tightly and outstretches his hand to grasp his wife's, and she smiles. He brings her hand to his lips and she moves over further to kiss him on the lips._

_Not a passerby would realise the turmoil they had been through the year before. Every passerby would see the hope they had for the years to come._

* * *

**A/N: So, what did you think? Gracia may have seemed OOC – but if you'd thought your husband was dead and had to explain to your daughter that her father wasn't coming back only to realise he was alive, I think you'd be OOC too. **


End file.
